On the plane ride over here from Calgary, I picked up SportsNet Magazine because on the cover was a photo of Sarah Burke that read “ 1982-2012: The untold story of a life on the edge.” I wanted to read all about who she was and why everyone loved her.

“ Nothing Seemed out of Reach: Freeskier Sarah Burke was at the top of her game – she beat the boys, landed every trick and had her sights on Olympic Gold. Her incredible life and the accident that ended it all.”

It wasn’t the typical story that I usually read the day before the race, I prefer when the Hero wins and saves the day, but I wanted to know more about a women who routinely pushed limits and did it in style. I learned about the type of person she was and the standards to which she held herself and everyone around her accountable. She was an advocate for Women in sport, and believed in pushing herself in order to be the very best on the hill (girl or boy). She was loved by everyone within her sport, as well as anyone who had ever met her, and was extremely gorgeous. A model for the type of person we all wish to be. It was an extremely inspiring article, and I hope to do Sarah proud this weekend. I dedicate my performance to her.

Post Race:
“The fat lady is singing, Your #1” was the first poster I saw while standing on top of the podium immediately following the race. It was a response to one of the tweets I had made after day #1 of competition and I am happy that it could be held up with pride. I can now say that I am the current World and Olympic Champion, and it feels amazing. The easiest way I can explain what it feels like (from my body’s point of view) is when you really really have to pee, you feel like your bladder is going to explode, and you finally get to go. The relief that overtakes your whole body is one of pure pleasure, and to me the shivers that come along with that are one of the best feelings in the world. I am so happy to be done the race, to know that I didn’t screw it up I did my best and it was enough, is a relief in the happiest kind. Afterward followed by a “what now?” feeling, I am trying to just live in the moment, focus on what I have just achieved, and not already start thinking about next year. Everyday I set goals but I have become some type of goal setting monster because when I achieve them, wether big or small ,it usually feels the same. The issue is sometimes when your goals for the day are scrubbing the toilet, washing the dog, and writing an email you don’t get to stand on top of a podium and sing “O Canada” when they are complete. The feeling of winning this major race was very different to the one in Vancouver , not only for the obvious reason’s, but because it wasn’t as big of a surprise. I feel like i could really enjoy this one more because I knew what winning entailed, I had practiced it.

Perspective from the first night when we arrived to the end of day 1, couldn’t have changed more dramatically. When we first got to our hotel day 1 it wasn’t the best looking place. All 3 of us were very concerned about bed bugs, and I had a wet dirty old rag scattered on the floor in my room to pick up the water drips that were coming from the ceiling. By the end of day 1, and when we returned back to the hotel, it was like a breath of fresh air. My once dingy room had now become a palace and sleeping in my bed was no longer a concern, it was more floating on a cloud.

I am so honored to be given the opportunity, to be able to tavel across the world to help inspire a completely different group / continent of people. I hope I will leave this week with a completely different appreciation for life, and have a new found respect for what others around this world have to endure on a day to day basis. I know that I have been given many opportunities to participate in sport throughout my life so far, and because of that, I have become the person I am today. Sport has taught me respect,leadership, goalsetting, hardwork, and the list goes on and on. Right To Play believes that thru sport not only can you teach these life lessons, you can become a healthier more happy human being. To be able to supply these children with sports equipment , set up programs, and allow them to play and be kids is what makes RTP one of the best charity organizations I know.

A common question that was asked after the race was over, by almost everyone, was “Are you happy with your result?”. My first initial reaction is to say NO, because I didn’t win, but taking a step back and looking at the season as a whole, I can honestly say that Yes I am happy with my result. The goal this year was always to come out and do well at the World Champs regardless of how the year played out, and finishing 3rd definitely classifies as a great result. The perfectionist inside me wants to say that although 3rd in the World is great, 1st is so much better. It wants to say that I could have done more, that I should work harder, and how can you be happy being the 2nd loser. This is the part of me that pushes me to be the best, it’s the reason that I was able to start driving only 4 years before I became Olympic Champion, and it’s the part of me that keeps me hungry for more. In sport I strive to be perfect, because I know that if I am perfect I will win, and although people say it’s not all about winning and I agree with them, the perfectionist inside me says they are wrong. Regardless, my 3rd place result set a new record, as it’s the first time Canada has won a medal at the World Championships. This is now the 2nd record I hold in the sport and no matter how you look at that, it’s a great thing.

At the start of last week I received a sweet surprise, as Dan (my husband) decided to spontaneously fly all the way over here to watch me race. My Parents were not able to come, so they decided to fly Dan out to have the family support present. It was great to be able to see him, as it had been early 8 weeks and I was getting a little home sick. I don’t usually like seeing my family to often before a race, as they are not always there and consistency is key. There is a list of rules that my family is aware of when they watch me race live, and those rules don’t change wether it’s a World Cup / World Champs / Olympics, but it’s rules that I need them to follow because distractions can be the difference between winning and losing. Never the less, I love it when they come and they understand that support comes in many different forms, just because I can’t see you doesn’t mean I don’t know you are there. Dan on the other hand is different to my parents / sisters as he has been around for the past 3 years on tour with me and so having him present this week has been a treat. It took 2 full years for us to figure out how to work / eat / sleep / train …… together and I can honestly say that those years were very hard. Last year (Olympic year) was the first year that we had things figured out, and now that we are not on tour together it’s going to take us some time to figure out how to live this way as well. Anyone who has worked with a spouse can understand that it’s not easy, wether you work together or spend so much time apart, either way it’s a learning curve.

The race it’s self was difficult. It had some ups and downs (like the rest of my season), but in the end we were able to hang on to our 3rd place ranking. Overall our starts this race were not what we expected, and a little disappointing for both of us. H.Moyse and I had been getting faster each race, expectations were high, and both of us thought that we would be back on form or just slightly behind the start record (one that we set last year). Needless to say we were both a little flat, and when we don’t live up to our own expectations there is a reason why. We learned something about our body’s this race, and just how much physio therapy and acupuncture is good, before it becomes a detriment. What makes this hard to process is that the lesson learned, should not have been at a time when everything is on the line. We employ people to help us take care of our bodies so that this type of thing doesn’t happen, but now I know, more than ever, that having great therapist is mandatory on tour. The positive side to this story, is that I was able to be a consistent pilot, something that I have been working on for years. Although the starts were not quite what we expected, they were still amongst the best, and it gave me enough to work with as a pilot. Our velocity going into the first corner was great, and that is far more important than a time. I was able to prove to myself that even with a good start, my driving has come a long way and I can hold my own with the top drivers in the world. Experience and driving skill ( the part of Bobsleigh that everyone says takes time) is finally starting to show. This is the main reason I am happy with the 3rd place.

I am staying in Germany for an extra 2 weeks, and my plan is to have no plan. Dan was here until mid week, so being able to spend some extra time with him and relax, was an excellent way for me to wind down. I stayed and watched the 4-man race, which ended with a great friend becoming World Champion, so I was very happy to be able to watch that. Now I have rented a car and will be driving around Germany visiting friends, meeting people and enjoying new parts of the world. It’s a great chance for me to wind down, and to build friendships with other athlete’s from all different nations. its what makes the sport fun for me (besides the speed and adrenaline of course).

I would just like to say a huge Thank you to my partners (sponsors) for everything you have done for me this year. I really appreciate you coming on board and supporting my team. It’s because of you that I was able to be the first Canadian in Women’s Bobsleigh to win a medal at the World Championships. I look forward to re-connecting with everyone when I return home.

This week leading into the race has been pretty eventful. I did a little shopping in Salzburg which was a great release for me, shopping therapy, visited “ Hotel Turken” which is a bunker that was used by hitler during WWII, and attending a school presentation for me put on by my new fan club here in Germany. The school visit was one of my favorite things this week, and although it was a little tough to get over the language barrier we all made it work. It is a special school that is designed for young athlete’s that are up and coming in winter sport. To see all those young faces that are already being given an opportunity to excel in sport, make you realize that the Germans are good for a reason. Excellence starts young and for me to be able to inspire any young child towards their goals / dreams, even if they grow up one day to kick my kids butt, makes my job worth while. I now have 40 German kids from ages 8-12 that will be chanting “Go Canada Go” in a home World Championships, it can’t get much better than that.

With race day tomorrow I am feeling very excited. Training has gone well, and I am right in the mix with everyone. Usually when I am right in the mix, it means that the reserve I have with held from training will be given a chance to shine, I just hope that reserve is enough. We have 2 days of racing back to back now, and it’s about consistency. I start the race #3, which is my overall ranking from the World Cup standings this year, but the good part is that the Germans are ranked #1 and #2. It’s always good when you are around Germans in a race draw, especially on their home track, because the track is usually prepared a lot better for them in a strategic manner, Politics.
Heather’s ankle is feeling better, still not 100%, but we are here now and nothing more can be done. It’s all or nothing time, so here we go….

Recently I was talking with an American pilot, Bree Schaaf, about this summer after the Olympics and heading into this competitive year. She raced in Vancouver, and finished 5th which was very good. She was talking about how heading into this season and during the summer she noticed that she went thru a bit of depression, and I started to think how many other successful athlete’s in the Olympics are feeling this same way right now. I can honestly say that I understand what she is talking about, wether or not it’s depression I don’t know, but I do notice that things are different no matter how hard I try to deny it. As an amateur athlete you spend so many years anticipating the Olympics, even more so when it’s a home games, and for it to be all over so quickly is hard to believe and very anti-climatic. Achieving a Gold Medal dream and being able to live that dream at home, was nothing I could have ever imagined, but now I seem to compare everything to that level, and I probably shouldn’t. I know I have 3 years now until the next games, and it’s the only reason why I am not freaking out right now about my current World Cup results, it’s just that it doesn’t feel the same. Maybe it’s not the depression from the Olympics, but the Gold Medal that has caused this change, maybe it’s both. All I know is that right now I am doing the same thing I have done for the past 8 years, and in the exact same way. I focus on the task at hand while looking ahead for the future Olympics, but while I do this something is different and I can’t quite but my finger on it. It’s not that it’s a negative thing either (although my results are not the best, so it’s hard to see it as a positive at this moment), but maybe for right now this is what is suppose to happen. That is what I am currently telling myself anyway.
As for training this week, sliding has gone well. I feel more like myself and the speeds and times are right up there with the top girls. I am very happy that I was able to come out here right after christmas and slide for those 2 days of Swiss Championships, as it has made this week a lot easier to handle. There was less pressure on me to figure out the track as quickly as possible, and that has given me more confidence in my ability. We changed the sled steering mechanism this week, to something that is completely different than how I have driven for the past 4 years, and at first I was very nervous. I was nervous for many reasons the main one being my ability. Was I going to be able to adapt to new softer steering?, did I have the skill required to drive the sled a different way?, just how good of a pilot was I really?, all questions running through my head in the first day of training. I didn’t have room for questions about the track, and because I was able to focus on feeling the sled, I think I was able to just look where I was going and drive. Right from day one with the new steering I was fast , and although no run has been perfect yet and it will take time to adjust fully, I will do my best to drive as well in the race as I have in training and just be one with the track (it’s the fastest way). As an athlete the only thing we can control is ourselves, and on race day the only thing I can hope for is to have my best training day possible. Being the best doesn’t happen over night, and it’s not easy nor does it just happen by luck. I can hope that God will come down from up above and touch me on the shoulder and BAAM now I am the best, but that isn’t how it works. So tomorrow I will slide the best runs I can have and see if others do the same. I trust that if I have my 2 best runs possible, no one will touch me (like it happened at the Olympics last year), but it’s up to me to make that happen and do the business.

This is the question that was posed to us after the race here in Winterberg. Not because our speed suits are extremely tight, unflattering, and have two zippers for all the guys in case of a bathroom break. It was because we are bobsledders, and hungry ones at that. Food is something we don’t really struggle with, and my usual response to food questions in the media is “ You don’t get this body by eating only salad”. A statement made funnier when you actually see that I am not exactly a petite size women. So after the race the two heathers and I decided to go for waffles, because we were starving and it’s something we always do here in Winterberg. I don’t know how they do it, maybe it’s the fact that they are shaped like little hearts, but this place makes the best waffles I have ever eaten. When the waitress came up to us, we ordered for 6 waffles four with whipped cream and two with powder sugar, and three coca cola’s to drink. She looked a little stunned at first, then proceeded to laugh, and when she realized that we were not joking, she asked us if we were pregnant. At first I didn’t know what to think, wether to be insulted or not, and if she meant that because of our size or due to the amount of food we just ordered. I quickly looked around and saw a couple sitting behind us drinking coffee and sharing one waffle between the two of them, then it dawned on me that this might be the first time this waitress has ever been asked to get 6 waffles for 3 girls. I guess there is a first time for everything.

The race itself was interesting. It’s getting a little easier to come 8th place, as this has been a pretty consistent number for me, but I am noticing that although it’s getting easier, I am becoming more and more deflated every time. This year to date has been the worst year I have ever had in my 4 year history as a pilot. Everyone continues to tell me that it’s not that bad, as I am ranked 4th in the overall standings right now and not far out of 3rd, but in the past 4 races I have not been in the top 6, so regardless of the overall ranking, I am not happy.
The starts this race were better than last week, which is great news for H.Moyse and I, it means that we are getting stronger each race. As for the driving, I had some really positive things to look back on, but I also had some major issues that need to be addressed as well. Needless to say, we are going to change the entire steering system in my sled hoping that this will give me more feeling while driving down the track, and who knows maybe this is the difference that will allow me to bring back the old Kaillie. It’s a bit drastic, especially for the middle of season, but as far as i am concerned I need something drastic to snap me out of this funk.